If you’re a teacher looking for a little levity in your class, or anyone who wants to elicit a smile from a teenager, give these jokes a whirl. They are not guaranteed to close the generation gap but they are corny or your money back.
Q. Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl in the bathroom?
A. Because it has a silent pee.
Q: Why couldn’t Cinderella play soccer?
A: She kept running away from the ball.
Q. Why Do Mother Kangaroos Hate It When It Rains?
A. Because the kids have to play inside.
Q. Why don’t ghosts like to go to prom?
A. Because they have no body to dance with.
Q. Why did the tomato blush?
A. Because it saw the salad dressing.
Q. Did you hear about the 2 guys who stole a calendar?
A. They both got 6 months.
Q. What do you call cheese that doesn’t belong to you?
A. Nacho cheese.
Q. What’s faster, hot or cold?
A. Hot, because everyone can catch a cold.
Q. What’s the difference between ignorance and apathy?
A. I don’t know, and I don’t care.
Q. Why did you sell your vacuum?
A. It was just collecting dust
Q: What do you call a boomerang that won’t come back?
A: A stick.
Q. What do you call an alligator in a vest?
A. An investigator!
Q. Why did the math book look so sad?
A. Because it had so many problems!
Q. If a chemistry and biology teacher go to a bar, where do they sit?
A. The periodic table.
Q. What do you call bears with no ears?
A. B
Q. How do you keep a bull from charging?
A. Take away his credit card!
Q. What do you call a dog that can tell time?
A. A watch dog.
Q. Why did the teacher wear sunglasses?
A. Because her students were so bright.
Q. What did one hat say to the other?
A. “Stay here, I’m go on ahead.
Q. Why can’t a person’s nose be 12 inches long?
A. Because then it would be a foot!
Q. What’s the difference between a piano and a fish?
A. You can tune a piano, but you can’t tuna fish.
Q. Why should you never criticize someone until you have walked a mile in their shoes?
A. That way when you criticize them you’ll be a mile away, and you’ll have their shoes!
Q. What Did The Student Say When His Teacher Asked Him To Use Geometry In A Sentence?
A. “A little acorn grew and grew until it finally awoke one day and said, ‘Gee, I’m a tree.'”
Q. What was the last thing to go through the bug’s mind when it hit the windshield?
A. His butt.
Q. Why couldn’t the leopard play hide and seek?
A. Because he was always spotted.
Q. Can a kangaroo jump higher than the Empire State Building?
A. Of course! The Empire State Building can’t jump!
Q. Where do you find a dog with no legs?
A. Right where you left him.
Q: What did the duck say when he bought lipstick?
A: “Put it on my bill.”
Q. Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl in the bathroom?
A. Because it has a silent pee.
Q: Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?
A: It’s okay. He woke up.
Q. What is the resemblance between a green apple and a red apple?
A. They’re both red except for the green one.
Q. Why didn’t the child cry when it got hit with a bottle of Pepsi?
A. It was a soft drink.
Q. Why did the selfie go to prison?
A. It was framed.
Q. Where do spaghetti and sauce go to dance?
A. The meat ball.
Q. How many tickles does it take to get an octopus to laugh?
A. Ten tickles.
Q. What did one toilet say to the other?
A. You look flushed.
Q. What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
A. Frostbite.
Q. Why are teddy bears never hungry?
A. Because they’re always stuffed.
Q. What do you call a boring dinosaur?
A. A dino-snore.
KNOCK-KNOCK JOKES:
Knock knock. Who’s there? Hatch. Hatch who? God bless you.
Knock knock. Who’s there? Gorilla. Gorilla who? Gorilla me a hamburger.
Knock knock. Who’s there? Turnip. Turnip who? Turnip the volume, I love this song!
Knock knock. Who’s there? Cargo. Cargo who? No, car go “beep beep”!
Knock knock. Who’s there? A little old lady. A little old lady who? Wow, I had no idea you could yodel!
Knock Knock. Who’s there? Annie. Annie who? Anything you can do I can do better!
Knock knock. Who’s there? I eat mop. I eat mop who? Ewww!
Knock knock. Who’s there? Spell. Spell who? Okay, W-H-O.
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Wa Wa who? What are you so excited about?
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Ice cream soda Ice cream soda who? Ice scream soda people can hear me!
